Month: June, 2015


People think that it is funny when I get annoyed and therefore find great pleasure in annoying me and even if they only do it as a joke I can’t help but get annoyed which makes them even more satisfied and I get more annoyed and it all repeats itself in a long circle that I wouldn’t exactly call viscous but instead rather … annoying.


The Scandinavian Shelf in the Library

The past few days I’ve been feeling rather homesick. Loads of people have finished their exams and gone home for good. My best friend has left and the people still here are busy revising for their last couple of exams. Facebook is filled with pictures of a summery Sweden and today was my little sister’s first proper school graduation and I feel bad for not being there. However, in this very moment I am completely calm and happy. It has been long since my heart felt this light.

The reason: I found the Scandinavian shelf in the library.

I went to the library to return two books but came back home with 5. I just couldn’t help myself.

IMG_9129_editedFirst I got this little beauty – a small anthology containing The Father, Miss Julie and The Ghost Sonata. Gotta love Strindberg.

Then I got what is originally a children’s story often used in geography lessons as it is about a little boy who shrinks into a Liliputian figure and travels across Sweden on the back of a goose. Tonight I plan to read the part portraying the county in which I used to live.

IMG_9137_editedThis is a poetry collection by a Pär Lagerkvist whom I have not really read anything by before but he’s one of the classics. The best part about this one is that it has the poems both in English translation and the original Swedish. It has been so long since I could read something of good literary quality in Swedish and I have been missing the classic Swedish miserable literature.

The last thing I got from the Swedish section is a 371 pages long biography about Stringberg himself. It is filled with pictures of him and his surroundings and the inside cover is a painting of Stockholm. I love Stockholm.

The range available in the library is rather limited but to just see Swedish authors on the shelves makes me incredibly happy. I think that at a moment my eyes watered a little when I found it and saw … well, mostly books by and about Strindberg because he is the most famous author we have BUT STILL!

I found the Scandinavian section in the library. 

Before she left the gave me a paper bag of things.


There’s the article about Ronnie O’Sullivan because I’ve been watching a lot of snooker with my boyfriend. There are the plastic glasses we drank wine out of that night on the bench behind the library. There’s the one shoe she’ got left after she lost the other on a night out when she had a little too much to drink and passed out in the bathrooms and we had to carry her home while the only name she kept on repeating was my boyfriend’s. There’s her empty perfume bottle so that I can still feel her smell even though she’s gone home. There’s the ‘Put it back it’s mine’ suitcase tag which I put on my frying pan in term 1 when she started using it because she hasn’t got her own. There’s the A4 refill pad I lent her and one of my nail varnishes and my Supercat eyeliner pen, a Czech tampon, Swedish Rekorderlig and other bits and bobs with stories behind them.

I will miss her.

What if leaving is a loving thing?

There’s a dying rabbit on the field outside my accommodation, my student room is messy and my best friend left today to go home for the summer. At home it is the time of graduation and I miss Sweden more than ever. I miss my familiar streets and places and smells. But at the same time I don’t want to leave what I’ve got here because I know that next year when we come back everything will be different. Of course different doesn’t always mean worse but change can be very scary.

In short: I’m a little low at the moment and once again I’m caught between.

List of things I’ve realised in the past week since my exams finished

  • Rice milk is better in coffee than soy milk.
  • The rough prison language from Orange is the New Black has made its way into my mind as I dreamed that my boyfriend’s mother welcomed me by saying “Hi motherf*cker” before giving me the normal welcome hug and a kiss on the cheek.
  • Yawns and screams look very similar if there is no sound.
  • Anxious feelings makes one very selfish.
  • PMS makes me very anxious.
  • Buying three bottles of cheep wine (£2.99/bottle) from the local grocery shop and drinking them with friends on the bench behind the library on a Saturday night when everyone is bored out of their guts because of exams is a brilliant idea that I never thought I would do when I came here in September. To then continue to the Student Union for some pool and a Fish bowl before swaying home to the corridor and the kitchen for rum and coke and conversation (BANTER!) until 5.30 AM is a nice continuation of that evening.
  • The tiredness and headache that follows a night of drinking is a brilliant excuse for not doing anything all day and you don’t even have to feel stressed about not doing anything and since feeling stressed is all I’ve been feeling lately it is a nice transition into the Summer Holiday Life which usually stresses me out.
  • I like rainy days because they somehow take away the must in the must-do’s.