It has never been this hard to say goodbye. Not to you, not to anyone. Never have I felt such a panic within to not let you go. We hug. I am crying but really trying not to. We let go and you lean in for a kiss. That last kiss. When you look into my eyes it looks like you’re about to cry too. I feel your fingertips slip away from mine as I walk back towards the trains and you towards the security check. I sob quietly all the way through the airport. I send you a text asking you to text me when you land. Then I go back home and it is empty and weird without you and the thought that we won’t see each other at all for more than a month is still painful enough to make my eyes water. Oh, baby, I miss you.
When you land you text me and say “I can’t believe I almost started crying when you left” and then “I’ve had 3 of the best weeks in my life and I’m not even joking”.
When I lie in bed at night I curse the fact that we live in different countries and that it’s either very on or very off. Either we spend 24 hours a day together for three weeks or we won’t see each other at all for five. Sometimes I just wish for a little more balance.