Month: December, 2015


I didn’t sleep well last night because I was worrying about the future and the fact that I want you by my side desperately but I also want to be able to get by on my own. And all through the night I could hear the sound of an empty take-away mug that was pushed around on the drive by the wind. I passed it last night when you walked me home and thought of picking it up but didn’t.


Pain & Pleasure

On the 18th of September I said goodbye to you at the airport. At that point I thought that this was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I thought: “If he leaves me now I’ll die”. I walked through the airport with tears in my eyes and cried on the train back.

Now, I look back at that moment and consider it one of my most beautiful memories. There is something bitter-sweet about it. There is the pleasure that is found in pain. In saying goodbye but knowing you will meet again. In feeling so strongly about a person that it makes you physically ache.

Storm warm

It is windy outside and the cold cracks in the house. I can hear the wind in the chimney and it makes my door flutter a little each night as it doesn’t close properly. Yet, I am like the feeling of how warm you get when wearing two knitted jumpers and three layers of socks.

. . .

Just because it’s new doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means it’s different.