Yesterday’s post was very positive. Now I am not so much. At the same time as home always is home it is also straining to be home again after having taken care of yourself for so long.
What me and mum always seem to disagree about is my veganism. I said today at breakfast that I’d probably go to the shop later on and get some vegan supplies for myself. This because since it is for me I might as well get it, right? The deal is that when I am home they pay for whatever food I buy, something which I am very grateful for but I have never asked for it.
It is Sunday today which means that it is the day when the Big Shop is made where food is bought to last us for the rest of the week. Mum then suggested that I do the entire shop since I am getting things anyway. I thought that maybe since I then would have to get my vegan things and the normal things maybe it would be quite hard for me to bring all the things back and this I told her. In fact, I have told her this several times. This is me thinking about it practically. Not me being selfish.
I said I could get some things, bits and pieces. Then I said what I probably shouldn’t have said: “But I’m not getting any meet”. What I meant was not that I won’t buy anything that is not vegan but that I don’t feel very comfortable buying a piece of steak or fresh mince. I didn’t even like doing that when I was pescitarian.
I continue eating but is then attacked with all sorts of claims coming from mum that I am very selfish who won’t do this and if I’m not buying any meet she might as well stop buying vegan things for me. And stop cooking vegan things for me. She wouldn’t let me explain what I actually meant. She also can’t take jokes very well, that mother of mine.
I started crying and I’m still crying. I hate being this emotional. I hate it. And I get very annoyed because I haven’t cried for two whole weeks which for me is a lot. Now I’ve started again so I might as well continue.