tooartytoparty

Month: July, 2016

Time flies

It’s nice to know that my low moments mostly come around the time of menstruation these days. That gnawing feeling in my chest is not there permanently any longer and when the blood drips against the white porcelain in the bathroom I know that I am calmer.

It’s also nice to know that I’ve been back in Sweden for a longer period of time (10 days) than what is left before he comes over (9 days).

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01.02

My heart is a little bit lonely tonight. My body is lonely tonight. I am lonely tonight. God I miss him!!!

Extra-emotional and a little bit cliché. It’s just that I haven’t spoken to him in a while. Haven’t seen him in a while. And the Skype call we had the other day just made me miss him even more.

It’s “only” 3 weeks and 1 has already passed but I can’t escape the feeling of being stuck somewhere I don’t want to be for too long. People, family, friends, everywhere. The routines I have built up for myself are shattered. I know that people miss me when I am gone and I understand that they want to see me. I want to see them too, I really do, but I don’t like feeling the pressure of having to see this person and that person. Or the pressure of having to do something special with the people I see all the time. Can’t we sometimes just take it easy and enjoy each other’s company in quiet?

I hate not living in the same country as you because it makes the relationship I have to my home country a lot more complicated. I hate us living 2000 km apart extra much tonight. My period is on its way; my breasts are tender and I just WANT YOU BY MY SIDE HERE AND NOW.

Things to do this summer

  • Read loads of books that I want to read and not books that I have to read.
  • Paint with water colours.
  • Spend loads of time with my little sister. She’s nine now and so much older than she was when I moved away from home.
  • Take long evening walks when it is still light outside.
  • Take up writing again.
  • Swim.
  • Go for runs – I want to try and get my time for 5k down to under 30 min.
  • Finish watching True Blood. For some reason I stopped halfway through the sixth season.
  • Get photographing again.
  • Make (n)ice cream (banana ice cream). It looks so simple and everyone goes on about how nice it is but I haven’t tried it yet.
  • Spend time with my best friend whom I haven’t seen for over 9 months.
  • Cut my hair. It’s been too long for too long.
  • Try yoga.
  • Experiment with new vegan recipes.
  • Chill.
  • Start reading the course literature for next year. I think I’ll begin with Shakespeare’s collected works.