tooartytoparty

Month: May, 2017

The sensitive art guy

At some point I want to make love to a sensitive art guy to see how he’d touch me and make me feel. I want his long hair to get tangled up with mine and for our slow breaths to mingle between us. I want him to take it slow and to be careful, yet assertive. I want to feel the passion in every moment and when we’re done I want to clasp him tight to me as tears trickle down my cheeks, and maybe also his, because crying is the only way to let our emotions when they’re that strong.

12th May

I just need to write something here for once. Because I never write these days. Apart from the 5000×2 and the 2500 word essays I handed in last week. All due on the same day and I wonder why my department does that? And also how it can be ok to have most of my assessment for this entire year due within the space of a month. In that sense May is a horrible month.

On the other hand the weather is becoming nicer and warmer and soon, soon, soon, soon, soon I will be DONE WITH UNIVERSITY. But, as one of my friends said: A lot lies between then and now.

And he is right. I have substantial amounts of studying to get through. Numerous Shakespeare plays to refresh and reread, a lot of theory to familiarise myself with before my Literary and Cultural Theory exam, and several plays + secondary readings to find for my European Theatre exam in 12 days time. It is all very stressful. Sometimes I struggle to get to sleep at night and I am tired every morning when I wake up.

The thought of the future kind of scares me. This is the first time in my life where I have finished something without having a clear plan of what is going to happen on the other side of what I am doing now. The answer has hitherto always been: more studying. I need a break from that now. I need to write and read what I want to write and read and not live under the constant pressure to perform well. It is mostly a pressure I put myself under I think so I should really be able to overcome it but hey nevermind. Not now. I just drink more coffee instead.